This past Sunday was supposed to be a pretty normal Sunday.
Every Sunday, we’re supposed to have family dinner. It’s something I look forward to because life gets busy, and having that time together is important to me.
Except…life had other plans.
I had told my oldest, formerly known as KayLynn and now known as Rayne, that I would take them to a birthday party for their friend at Incredible Pizza.
Simple enough, right?
Wrong.
Somehow, we entered the Sunday Domino Effect™.
People were late. People weren’t where they were supposed to be. Plans shifted. Timelines changed. And before I knew it, what should have been a pretty straightforward evening had turned into one of those situations where you just keep thinking:
“Okay. Surely THIS is the last thing.”
Spoiler alert: it was not.
I was expecting to leave Tulsa around 6 when the birthday party was over.
Instead, we didn’t even get to Tulsa until 5:45.
At that point, we were already there, so I figured I might as well let Rayne spend some time with their friends.
My friend had driven me from her house to Tulsa because my car is not exactly designed for long-distance adventures, and I had already pushed it farther than it probably appreciated.
We picked up her daughter from her dad’s house and then made what seemed like a completely harmless stop at Sam’s.
If you have ever gone shopping with a child, you already know where this is going.
Kids are distracted by EVERYTHING.
And apparently Sam’s had decided to make things even worse by putting out the Halloween stuff.
So now the kid was distracted.
Then the adults were distracted.
At some point, we apparently entered a time warp because when we finally walked out of Sam’s, an entire hour had passed.
An hour.
I genuinely had no idea we had been in there that long.
Then we realized we needed to pick Rayne up from Incredible Pizza.
Except…
Rayne had already left with their friends.
Apparently, the message saying they had left never made it to my phone.
So we drove to Incredible Pizza anyway, and there was no Rayne.
Twenty minutes later, we picked them up from their friend’s house, but at this point, I was overstimulated, hungry, tired, frustrated, and running out of patience.
And I couldn’t see.
Literally.
I was STILL wearing sunglasses at 9 o’clock at night because I had originally planned on leaving Tulsa at 6 and had left my regular glasses in my car at my friend’s house.
So I’m sitting there, riding in a car, wearing sunglasses in the dark, unable to see properly, and trying desperately not to become the world’s most anxious backseat driver.
And if you’ve ever ridden with me, you already know…
I prefer to drive.
If I’m not driving, I’m a backseat driver.
I admit it.
I’m not proud of it.
But…anxiety.
I was trying to use the coping skills we’ve worked on through Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI), which our family has been taught.
Breathe.
Regulate.
Ground yourself.
Use the skills.
Take a moment.
Except this time?
NOPE.
My brain had apparently submitted a formal resignation.
I was hangry.
I couldn’t see.
The plans had changed approximately 47 times.
I was supposed to be home hours ago.
I had missed family dinner with Spencer, Braydin, his dad Colton, and his stepmom Janel.
I still had to get Rayne home, which was another 45 minutes away from my house.
And suddenly I was looking at the clock thinking:
“How in the world did Sunday turn into THIS?”
I called Colton and asked if he could take Braydin home because it was going to be so late by the time I made it back into town.
Thankfully, he knew me well enough to recognize that I was completely overstimulated.
He took Braydin home and gave my husband a heads-up that I was stressed.
Then my husband called me.
He didn’t give me another problem to solve.
He didn’t ask me why everything had gone wrong.
He simply told me there was food waiting for me at home, Braydin had been dropped off, and to just breathe.
And somehow, that helped.
I stopped.
I took a breath.
And once I had one less thing to worry about, my brain started catching up.
I wasn’t going to get home and have to figure out dinner.
I wasn’t going to have to figure out what to do with Braydin.
Everyone was okay.
Nobody was hurt.
Nobody was actually in trouble.
People were late.
Plans changed.
Communication got messed up.
It was frustrating.
But it wasn’t an emergency.
And eventually I realized something:
My brain was treating it like one.
That is one of the hardest parts about anxiety and overstimulation.
Knowing logically that something isn’t a big deal doesn’t always mean your nervous system gets the memo.
To everyone else, it might be:
“Eh. We’re running late.”
To my brain, it’s:
🚨 EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE. ABORT MISSION. 🚨
And then, after I finally calmed down enough to think clearly, I remembered one very important detail.
I forgot to take my medication that day.
🤦♀️
So, if you’re someone who takes medication every day and you’re anything like me, here’s your reminder:
Set the alarm.
Don’t think, “I’ll take it in a little bit.”
Because “a little bit” has a funny way of turning into 9 o’clock at night while you’re sitting in a car wearing sunglasses, starving (okay I wasn’t starving but my body seemed to think I was), overstimulated, unable to see, and wondering how you ended up in a Sam’s Club for an entire hour.
But more importantly, this whole experience reminded me that coping skills aren’t about never getting overwhelmed.
They’re not a magic button that makes anxiety disappear.
Sometimes you can do everything you’ve been taught to do and still reach your limit.
And that’s okay.
Coping skills aren’t about being perfectly regulated all the time.
They’re about recognizing when you’re reaching that point, having people around you who understand what that looks like, and finding your way back.
Sometimes that means breathing.
Sometimes it means stepping away.
Sometimes it means asking someone else to take something off your plate.
Sometimes it means eating because apparently being hangry is a legitimate personality disorder.
And sometimes it means your husband calling you and saying:
“There’s food at home. Braydin is home. Just breathe.”
And suddenly the world doesn’t feel quite so impossible.
Sunday was chaotic.
It was frustrating.
It absolutely was not how I planned to spend my evening.
But we made it through.
And maybe that’s the real goal.
Not perfect regulation.
Not never getting overwhelmed.
Just learning how to come back from it.
One breath at a time.
And maybe remembering to take your medication before the Sunday Domino Effect™ begins. 😂
juMOMjia 