If you’re a parent—especially one with neurodivergent kids—you probably know how to advocate like a pro.
You speak up at IEP meetings.
You research therapies.
You email the school when something doesn’t feel right.
You show up and fight, even when you’re exhausted.
But advocating for yourself?
That’s the part we’re never taught.
And honestly—it can feel so much harder.
🧍♀️ Why Is It So Hard to Speak Up for Ourselves?
If you’re neurodivergent (diagnosed or not), you might already know the answer:
- We’ve been dismissed or misunderstood too many times.
- We’ve been told we’re too emotional, too dramatic, too much.
- We’ve internalized the belief that our needs don’t matter as much—especially when we become parents.
- We’ve gotten used to performing, masking, and minimizing our discomfort to keep everyone else comfortable.
So we learn to:
- Power through overstimulation
- Downplay our anxiety or burnout
- Push off our own medical appointments
- Say “it’s fine” when it absolutely isn’t
💬 The Moment I Realized I Deserve Support Too
For years, I made space for everyone else’s needs—my kids, my partner, my work, the world.
But I ignored my own.
It wasn’t until I started seeing how much I was struggling internally—while keeping it all together externally—that I realized something had to change.
I wasn’t being “strong” by staying silent.
I was burning myself out in slow motion.
🔄 What Advocating for Myself Looks Like Now
It didn’t happen overnight. But here are the ways I’ve started showing up for myself—imperfectly, but consistently.
✔️ I stopped downplaying my symptoms.
If I’m in pain, overwhelmed, or overstimulated, I say it. Out loud. Without apologizing.
✔️ I ask clarifying questions at appointments.
I no longer “smile and nod” when I don’t understand. I ask again. I take notes. I bring someone with me when I need support.
✔️ I request accommodations—without guilt.
Whether it’s scheduling changes, asking for written instructions, or choosing calm over chaos—I ask. And if people don’t understand? That’s not on me.
✔️ I take up space.
I allow myself to take breaks. To say no. To step out. To not explain every decision just to make others comfortable.
✔️ I share my truth.
By speaking up about my neurodivergence, my needs, and my limits—I give others permission to do the same.
💛 You Deserve the Same Energy You Give Everyone Else
Read that again.
You’re allowed to:
- Book appointments for yourself
- Rest without earning it
- Set boundaries without guilt
- Ask for support without overexplaining
- Exist in your truth—even if it makes others uncomfortable
You don’t have to wait for validation, diagnosis, or someone else to say, “Yes, you matter.”
You already do.
💬 Need Help Getting Started? Try Saying:
- “I’m not okay, and I need some space.”
- “Can you help me break this down into smaller steps?”
- “This environment is too much for me right now.”
- “I need to reschedule because I’m overwhelmed today.”
- “I’m still learning how to advocate for myself. Please be patient with me.”
It’s okay to take baby steps. It’s okay to fumble. It’s okay to cry halfway through asking for help.
But please—don’t keep waiting for someone else to step in.
Be your own advocate. Your future self will thank you.
juMOMjia 