As moms, we’re often the voice for everyone else—our kids, our partners, our families. We advocate for school accommodations, for medical answers, for schedules that make sense and support that never seems to come soon enough. But when it comes to ourselves? That’s where things get complicated.
I’ve been on a mental health journey for most of my life. And while I’ve gotten better at speaking up, it’s taken years of being ignored, dismissed, and misunderstood to get here.
🧠 My Mental Health Journey: The Early Years
I was first put on antidepressants around age 12. That’s a young age to already be battling the weight of depression, but even then, I knew something wasn’t “typical” about the way I experienced the world.
As I got older, the labels started stacking up:
- Depression
- Anxiety
- PTSD
- Major Depressive Disorder
And more recently, I’ve come to realize that I likely meet the criteria for both Autism and ADHD—though like so many women, I’m still unofficially diagnosed. Getting those kinds of answers as an adult is hard, expensive, and often not taken seriously—especially when you’re a mom who seems “functional enough.”
What’s worse is that even when I do advocate for myself, I’m often made to feel like I’m overreacting, dramatic, or just overwhelmed from being “too busy.” But my reality isn’t just stress—it’s neurodivergence, trauma, and chronic burnout hiding behind a functioning exterior.
💬 So What Does Advocating for Myself Look Like Now?
These days, advocating for myself isn’t always loud. It doesn’t always mean demanding things or making scenes. Sometimes it’s softer—but just as fierce. It looks like:
- Saying “no” without guilt
I don’t have the mental bandwidth to overextend myself, and I’ve finally stopped apologizing for that. - Asking for accommodations even when it’s uncomfortable
Whether it’s in healthcare, scheduling, or just daily life—if I need more time, different communication, or space to process, I ask for it. - Refusing to downplay my needs
I’ve learned the difference between being “hard to handle” and being worth proper care. I don’t minimize what I feel anymore. - Pushing for second (or third) opinions
When something doesn’t sit right—physically or mentally—I follow my gut. I’ve been dismissed too many times to ignore myself now. - Being transparent with my family
Spencer, my husband, knows when I’m at capacity. So does my son Braydin. I’ve stopped hiding when I’m struggling, because that silence never helped anyone—not me, not them.
🔁 Why It Matters—Especially as a Mom
I advocate for myself now because I have to. Because no one else is going to show up for me the way I show up for everyone else. Because if I fall apart, the whole system we’ve built to keep life going does too.
But also—because I want my kids to see what it looks like when someone fights for their own well-being. I want them to know that their needs are valid, their health matters, and asking for help isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom.
✨ If You’re Reading This and Struggling
You are not alone.
You are not broken.
You are not a burden.
You are allowed to say, “This isn’t okay,” and demand better—even if no one else is in your corner yet.
Advocate for yourself the way you advocate for your children, your partner, your friends. You are just as important as they are. Maybe more—because you can’t pour from an empty cup. And mama, you deserve a full one.
juMOMjia 