There’s a lot of talk about co-parenting, but not enough about what it really looks like when you’re doing the bulk of the caregiving—even when you’re not technically doing it alone.
In our home, my husband Spencer and I are a team. We’ve been together for over six years now, and through every life shift—health, parenting, and business—we’ve had each other’s backs. But when it comes to raising my son Braydin, the dynamic shifts a bit. Braydin isn’t Spencer’s biological child. That doesn’t make his love or involvement any less meaningful, but it does shape how responsibilities naturally fall day-to-day.
And then, there’s the business.
⏪ Our Life Hasn’t Always Looked Like This
Before cancer. Before the business. Before this town.
There was a time when everything looked different. We were living in a different place, and I was working full-time outside the home while Spencer stayed home with the kids. He was the one making lunches, scheduling appointments, and doing the day-to-day parenting while I built our income.
Is that traditional? Not at all. But it worked for us. We’ve always done what made sense for our family—not what made sense on paper.
Then I was diagnosed with cancer, and everything flipped. When I was let go from my job I wasn’t able to get hired anywhere while going through chemo so Spencer had to take on building the income and I shifted to being the primary caregiver.
🏪 Now We Run a Store—Just the Two of Us
Today, our business is just Spencer and me—no employees, no backup. If one of us isn’t there, the store doesn’t open. So when Braydin needs to be taken to therapy, the pediatrician, or a specialist (which is often), I’m the one who takes him, and Spencer keeps things running at the shop.
And when Spencer has visitation with his daughter? That flips too.
Because of our untraditional arrangement, Spencer stays at his mom’s during visitation to maximize his time with his daughter. And while he’s gone, I’m the one watching the shop solo—sometimes for several days in a row. I do that while still caring for Braydin and juggling his appointments.
It’s not a routine that would work for most families, but it’s the one that works for us. It’s built on flexibility, trust, and a whole lot of tag-teaming.
🧠 The Mental and Emotional Load
Braydin is a high-needs child who requires round-the-clock attention, structure, and care. I manage his appointments, advocate for his needs, track medications, and handle everything that comes with his daily life.
Even though I have Spencer’s support, the caregiving load sits mostly on my shoulders—and that’s just reality. I’ve been in that role since Braydin was born, and it’s something I’ve come to carry with a mixture of pride, exhaustion, and determination.
💛 Co-Parenting Through Love and Logistics
Spencer shows up for me and our family every single day, even if it doesn’t look like the conventional parenting mold. He’s working the shop while I’m at therapy appointments. He’s sacrificing his own routine to prioritize visitation with his daughter. He’s stepping in to keep our business afloat so I can be fully present for Braydin.
It’s not about 50/50—it’s about giving 100% in the areas that need you most.
🛠️ What Helps Me Survive the Chaos
If you’re living in the tension of caregiving, co-parenting, and running a business, here’s what’s helped me manage:
- Radical honesty – We talk often about what we need and what’s too much.
- Tiny breaks – Five minutes to breathe can mean everything.
- Letting go of perfect – Done is better than perfect. Survival mode is still valid.
- Flexibility is power – When everything feels unsteady, flexibility keeps us from falling.
👏 To the Other Parents Carrying the Care Load
Maybe you’re the one always at the appointments. Or you’re holding down the business while your partner is with their other kids. Maybe your family life doesn’t look like anyone else’s—but you’re doing your best. And that matters.
You’re showing up. You’re adapting. You’re holding it all together, even when it feels like it’s unraveling.
You’re doing more than enough.
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