Introduction:
For eight years, I had a feeling that cancer would eventually find its way into my life. It wasn’t a matter of if but when. My family’s history with cancer was long—first, my stepdad, then my grandpa, and later my mom. Each diagnosis left a mark, and I always thought it was only a matter of time before I’d join the ranks. I was ready, but nothing truly prepares you for the reality of hearing those words: you have cancer.
The Diagnosis:
It was the week of Thanksgiving when I received my diagnosis. At first, I thought it was just another misdiagnosis, a case of cat scratch fever like my son had experienced. But after three rounds of antibiotics and no improvement, I demanded a biopsy, and that’s when everything changed. When I got the call with the results, I was in shock. But even in the midst of the initial panic, I knew what I needed to do—contact the experts at Cancer Treatment Centers of America (now City of Hope). Within two weeks, I was at their Arizona facility, starting my treatment.
Chemotherapy and the Struggles That Came With It:
Chemotherapy was no joke. It was grueling—round after round of treatment, a relentless battle with nausea, fatigue, and the pain that came from stimulating my bone marrow. But in the darkest moments, I found some relief through small comforts. THC-infused bath salts became my savior, helping to ease both my nausea and body aches. There were days I could barely get out of bed, but I kept pushing forward.
Losing My Job:
One of the hardest parts of my journey was losing my job. I was working for a mental health facility, but after my second round of chemo, I got the call that I had exhausted my leave and would have to reapply when I was in a better place. This was a crushing blow, but it also highlighted something important: it’s not about the work you do, it’s about the people who care about you. While I was fighting cancer, I wasn’t paid to work at my family’s dispensary, but I showed up anyway because helping others brought me purpose.
Losing My Hair and Finding Myself:
One of the hardest things for me was losing my hair. My hair was my identity, and I never thought I could go through chemo without it. But when the hair started falling out, I didn’t just cry. I had to adjust, to figure out who I was without it. In the beginning, I was embarrassed to show my bald head, but eventually, I stopped caring. I realized that nobody cared as much as I thought they did, and wearing a beanie became less and less important. I found a new identity, one that wasn’t tied to my appearance but to my strength, my courage, and my willingness to keep fighting.
The Support of My Community:
Despite everything, I wasn’t alone. I’ve always been open about my struggles, both personal and professional, and I’m grateful for the support I’ve received from my community. Some customers at the dispensary still ask how I’m doing, and a few have even checked in to see how my PET scan results came back. Knowing that there are people who care about my health, not just my appearance, has been a gift that has changed my perspective on life.
Reflecting on the Year:
This last year has been a test in every sense. I’ve faced financial struggles, emotional challenges, and moments of doubt. But through it all, I’ve learned that I am stronger than I ever imagined. I’ve discovered a resilience within myself that I didn’t know existed, and I’m proud of how far I’ve come. It hasn’t been easy, but it’s been worth it. And if my story can help even one person feel less alone, then it’s all been worth it.
Conclusion:
If you’re reading this and facing your own challenges—whether it’s cancer, a personal struggle, or something else—I want you to know you’re not alone. We all have battles to fight, but together, we can find strength, resilience, and a sense of purpose. Never be afraid to lean on those who care about you, and remember: it’s okay to ask for help when you need it.
juMOMjia 