If you read my post last year, you know that one of the hardest parts of my cancer journey and undergoing chemotherapy was losing all of my hair. Every last strand—I lost it all. I couldn’t bring myself to shave it; the emotional weight was too heavy. But today, I’m thrilled to share a milestone: I can now put my hair into a ponytail. It’s a super tiny one, shorter than Pebbles’ hair from The Flintstones, but it’s a ponytail nonetheless!
I have bangs because they’re too short to fit into the ponytail, but that’s fine. I can handle that. I’ve always been one of those people who can’t stand things touching my face, ears, or neck. This sensitivity has been a challenge throughout my life, especially now as my hair grows back and brushes against these areas.
Reflecting on Milestones
Tomorrow marks one year since I completed my chemotherapy. Traditionally, patients ring a bell to signify the end of their treatment—a ritual that began at MD Anderson in 1996 and has since been adopted by many cancer centers. However, I didn’t ring the bell; I had nobody there with me to celebrate. Sometimes, I feel sad about it, but I remind myself that it’s not the bell that matters—it’s my health and the progress I’ve made.
This aversion to touch extends beyond hair. My husband and I were discussing just last night how I need to check the status of my new CPAP machine. The last one I had was recalled, and during the interim before the replacement arrived, we moved, and I lost the power cords—oops. I’ve ordered multiple replacements online to no avail; they just don’t work. It’s been five years now, so it’s time for a new CPAP machine to treat my obstructive sleep apnea (OSA) and to move forward with diagnosing my narcolepsy.
Wearing a CPAP mask has been particularly challenging due to my sensitivity. The sensation of something touching my face can trigger panic attacks. Ironically, my narcolepsy sometimes works to my advantage here; heightened emotions can cause me to fall asleep. The downside is that I often wake up in a panic, feeling the mask on my face, and instinctively rip it off without realizing it until morning.
I’m reaching out to you, my readers: Do you have any tips or tricks to help me tolerate my CPAP mask better? Have you ever done something unconsciously, only to realize it later? Also, is there an inconvenience in your life that you’ve managed to turn to your advantage?
Embracing this new chapter, with all its challenges and triumphs, has been a journey. Celebrating small victories, like my tiny ponytail, reminds me of the progress I’ve made and the strength I’ve discovered within myself. Thank you for being part of this journey with me.
Note: If you’re experiencing hair regrowth after chemotherapy, consider consulting with a dermatologist or healthcare provider for personalized advice. Some individuals have found success with dedicated haircare routines, including regular deep conditioning, maintaining a nutrient-rich diet, and gentle scalp massages to stimulate growth.
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